2000-11-30 - 13:15:04
Why am I writing this diary, anyway?

I found the infamous article yesterday on why web journals suck. Her opinion is a bit abrasive. Still, I'm thinking it might be best if I clarify why I'm doing an online diary, just for the record.

I'm doing this mainly for my own mental health. I've never been able to keep up a regular journal/diary -- I might write two days in a row, then I wait a few days for something to happen, then I wait a week next time, then a month, then I blink six months later and realize it's been forever since my last entry. Why does that happen? Partly because of the inconvenience and time-eating factor of trying to do it at home. Here, I can sketch out a few paragraphs on break, or whenever the mood strikes me, and posting it is as easy as the click of a button.

I've had some pretty unhealthy emotional episodes in the past few years that might have been prevented if I had been journalling, because journalling forces me to be honest with myself and examine the nooks and crannies of my brain. It's always been that way for me. I find myself by writing about myself.

Which brings me to another point ... I'm also doing this because I want to write novels. Primarily fantasy and science fiction, but I may dabble in other genres. The more I write, the better I find my voice. I've wanted to be a writer since I was 12, and I've written snips and jabs of dozens of stories, many of which my friends have enjoyed, so I'm not just playing around with this idea. I will do it. I hope to have the first book published by the time I'm 25 ... the first hurdle is always the biggest in the pursuit of a dream.

I'm also doing this, as silly as it might sound, to force myself to do some HTML. All the changes you might be noticing in my site from day to day are a result of my playing with the code. I have had an irrational fear of web pages for years (silly, since I was a computer science major!!) and this is a good way to get my feet wet.

*laughter* I'm such a contradictory person sometimes. Look at my degrees: I got a B.S. in Computer and Information Science, and a B.A. in Writing and Literature; I was a double-degree graduate with 170 semester credits. Is that overkill, or what? All in five years. My friends tell me I have a BS *and* a BA in BS, which should explain everything. *grin* But you know what, if I had my school career to do over again, I'd do a double degree in Music (violin) and in History (medieval) instead. Useless, no? But much more fun.

Maybe I'll at least manage the History part in grad school. You never know. I think I'll just take the GRE in the spring, and see where I go from there.

But, I digress. As I was saying, this is a diary for my own personal growth. It helps me, I think, to work on this before a hazy audience of sorts ... it makes me look a little more closely, because I also begin to wonder how others see me, and that adds another dimension.

On the other hand, I am completely open to feedback, if anyone has any comments for me. I'm not so good about responding promptly, since my only Net access is from work (I do this diary in WordPad so my Net use is minimized). Know that I appreciate every remark anyway.

(Darn! I still haven't done my Thanksgiving resolutions! Ah, well, maybe I'll get to that this afternoon...)