2001-01-26 - 21:24:16
*yawning profusely*

I am so tired.

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I'm just plain exhausted, I don't think I'm getting enough sleep. *yawn* That might have something to do with the fact that Azash's off days are Wed-Thur-Sun, not a normal weekend, so he's always staying up late Tues-Wed, and wants me to stay up with him.

This means I've now seen 2/3 of the first season of the X-Files on DVD, and sorted nearly 3,000 Magic cards alphabetically ... but this also means I'm not getting much done at work.

Aside from that ... well, there isn't much aside-from-that in my life right now. I've got an annoying muscle spasm in my left eyelid (!!!) and I had to pay $71 to the Circuit Court in McMinnville in my traffic ticket ...

Do you know what? I don't feel the least smidgen of regret for speeding. Yes, it's not legal. Yes, it's not as safe as it could be. But I just can't make myself feel very guilty for it.

I'm going to a Newcomers/Heraldry meeting tonight for the SCA. I've got an idea for name and armory, but they say not to fix on any one thing for at least a year. I don't honestly care. I just want to make sure the spelling and imagery are legal for the time period and the culture. *shrug*

Can you grieve without having anything specific to grieve for? I feel silly talking about it but sometimes I just have this sharp feeling of missing, and I don't know what for.

I guess I'm not making much sense. I hope you all have a good weekend -- mine will be occupied by a haircut (tomorrow) and (if our TV works) the Superbowl on Sunday ...

Damn. I just realized, it was 4 years ago today that I got engaged ... it was Superbowl Sunday that year. Not that it upsets me anymore; it's just a morbid thought. I feel old. It makes you wonder if there's any truth to that whole IQ/100 equation, mental age / physical age. I certainly feel a lot closer to 35 than I do to nearly-23.

*sigh* There, now I sound bragging instead of depressed, not that either one is what I intended.

I'm just ... tired.