2001-02-13 - 14:38:05
Mornings, relationships, and other assorted mumbles

You know you're not a morning person when you drink chai instead of coffee one day and still feel vaguely flattened at 9:30 AM. Chai is very tasty indeed, but it has zero caffeine ... and this gal's bloodstream does not wake up without either (a) several hours of consciousness or (b) a jolt of caffeine.

Nice morning, though. I always enjoy the beauty of mornings even if I'm not always focussed enough to fully appreciate them. Even mornings like today when it's cold enough that by the time I was done scraping the ice from my windows, my cold urticaria was flaring up and my knuckles felt like spikes had been driven through them. At least I didn't get blotchy. The crystallized views on the drive in were more than compensation for a little pain.

Damn allergies. The older I get, the more I have; and I'm still pretty young. Poor cat. I can't rub my face in her fur anymore. But I think she knows I love her anyway. =)

So where was I? Good question. Another good one is: Where am I? Single, twentysomething, working a "learning job", living with my brother: none of this likely to change in the near future. Jocasta & Nappy had hopes of matching me off to Antarctic Boy, but that looks even less possible now than it did when he jetted south last fall. When he gets back from the icy continent this month, he's going to spend a few months wandering around New Zealand before he comes back to the States, and who knows what he'll do then. He might not return to this area at all, except maybe for our "annual rafting trip".

*shrug* Doesn't matter anyway. He never emailed me back when I sent him a "Happy Holidays" message, or when I sent him a "thank you" in September for paying for everyone's rafting expenses. I guess the question of whether he was actively flirting that weekend, or just being extremely gentlemanly, is now settled. Good thing I never invested any emotions with him.

If any of us were to attract him, it would probably be Hildegaard anyway (she'll be on this year's rafting trip with the rest of us). She had an active crush on him three years ago, and men always pay far more attention to her than to me. Not sure that's a good thing for either of us: it makes me jealous (the ONLY thing ever to disturb our friendship much) and she's never acquired much relationship sense. Not her fault -- she grew up without a dad -- and it's only got her in serious trouble once, but it sure plays havoc with her sense of self-worth.

Ah well. I have my books, and I have my family, and I have my friends; I'll hobble along (relatively) happily until God decides that I (and whoever) are as ready as we'll ever be.

*yawn* Mailrun time; and after that, a 5 1/2 hour meeting about the new 3-million-dollar software package the college bought. Blecch. What a day to look forward to ...