2001-08-29 - 1:13 p.m.
Life after College: A Study in Failure

My debit card was rejected at Subway today. That means my checking account is overdrawn again ...

I can't deal with this. I can't! Ever since I moved into the apartment in Tigard with Azash I've watched him keep buying CDs, DVDs, and other entertainment stuff while I have struggled consistently just to keep my head above water. The balance in my checking account has gone down each and every month ... and the last two I've been overdrawn before my next paycheck could arrive, despite the fact that I just got a cost-of-living raise.

WTF? I try, I really do. I pay half the rent & bills, I pay the minims on my credit cards (while the balances keep going up) and my insurance and as much of my student loan as I can manage (it's still most of a month behind). I buy maybe $20 of entertainment items (books, mostly) and gasoline. Oh, and I buy food. I haven't purchased ANY new clothes in the last year or so. I still haven't gotten frames for my diplomas or birthday presents for my uncle & cousin & mother & brother. I have ZERO social life because I can't afford to go anywhere. I haven't even gotten my oil changed in five months. I have no savings account.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?

I was better-off financially while I was attending college!!! Too bad I can't get into grad school anywhere before next August, I would ditch everything and sign back up for classes today.

Ditch everything and get a new job and move back home, perhaps? ... But I'm locked into the apartment lease for another four months ... and I would have problems getting my boss to let me leave before then anyway. Plus, my brother would be upset with me, and I don't think I could handle living with my mother yet again.

Is the whine coming through yet? *laughing at self*

Seriously, though. I'm not sure how long I can keep all the wheels turning without something giving way.