2001-12-10 - 2:28 a.m.
More ponderings, from a skeptical insomniac

I mentioned yesterday that I was researching the idea of Christian Witchcraft. I hope I didn't disturb anyone unduly by that. Oft-times, when researching one of my more unusual interests, I feel like I need to defend myself from both sides; from those who would say I am inviting Satanic influence into my life to even think about such topics, and from those who would say I am so very white-bread and close-minded to be skeptical and spiritually concerned about these ideas in the first place.

Anyway.

I was intrigued by the idea that "magick" is really just ritualized prayer. It seems that even some Christians who are violently anti-witchcraft agree with this idea ... I found a virulent essay on the "Prayer of Jabez" today filled with that theme, from a negative perspective. In fact, the author mentions, as I did, the practice of rote prayer in the Catholic Church ... but then goes on to mention the Anti-Christ and the Pope in the same breath. What is this author trying to say, that all Catholics aren't true Christians? Doesn't the man remember that all Christians were Catholic for a great many centuries?

*laughing* And people wonder why I'm such a skeptic about church. Today's churches, especially in America, are filled with this kind of person, and this "seige mentality" of a small number of true, light-filled believers against the vast darkness. I understand where it comes from -- I've heard it all before, sometimes with effective Scriptural reasoning behind it. I just can't live it.

Yes, I believe there are angels, demons, and other things beyond mortal ken around us every day, some of which have unseen influences on our lives. However, I don't believe that Satan can force people to do anything they don't already want to do. I don't believe that a person who is serving God the best they know how can end up in Hell over something as simple as rote prayer -- God is stronger and more loving than that.

This particular essayist makes much of the idea that what people are really trying to do, with repetitive prayers or "magick" or whatever, is to force God to do something. The idea of forcing God to do anything makes me queasy. I never got that idea before, even from the friends I know who have bought the "Prayer of Jabez" booklet and are starting to use the prayer in their own lives. The topic has never even come up. Isn't it more about having faith, and asking God for blessing? Not trying to force anything; especially if you keep in mind that as God wills, so shall it be, even if God's will contradicts your own desires.

None of all this speculation is to say that I actually believe Christian Witchcraft is a good thing, or that I intend to follow it; but I am finding lots of useful ideas and different perspectives in my research.

I have a dear friend who once told me that if you're doing your best to follow God's will for your life, then of course God will give you what you ask for, because if you're on that path, the things you ask for should be things God wants for you anyway. Mildly circular reasoning, but it resonates for me. The trick is that you really must be doing your best to follow God's will, and that's a hard thing to be certain of.

... *sigh* Enough for now, I think. Too many things boiling around in my mind at the moment to be sure of expressing myself clearly. Besides, I bet everyone's getting sick of my latest philosophical phase, by now! I promise, tomorrow I'll get back into the usual swing of things. It's just that weekends and insomnia give me lots of time for thinking ...