2002-04-19 - 10:12 a.m.
A rebuttal of anti-Gifted and anti-AD/HD arguments

Oy vey. Last night I clicked my way over from informational and helpful sites on AD/HD and/or giftedness to websites very anti-AD/HD and anti-gifted, just to get a picture of the other side.

My God. How do people go through life so blind and insensitive?

Most of the anti-AD/HD sites rant about there being no clear medical test to determine that it is, indeed, a problem with the brain. Many of these sites don't do any clear thinking about the implications of that remark, but some do. Namely, that there aren't clear medical tests for any of the mental disorders in the DSM-IV. They claim that none of these "disorders" are real, that it's all a political creation to get more $$ in doctors' pockets and control the population.

Obviously, these people have never been, or been close to, someone properly diagnosed with one of these ailments.

I won't even get into all the AD/HD, bipolar, etc. people that I know or have known; I have a better example, one I've known very long-term and can be presumed to know very well.

My mother is on a low maintenance dose of Prozac. She had the childhood from Hell, suffered a breakdown in her mid-twenties, and finds herself unable to cope with anything that threatens the structure of her immediate family, which includes everything down to arguments between my brother and I. She still gets very brittle about any situation involving her own parents or siblings. Now, skeptics might perhaps say that if she really wanted to, she could be a happy person, and the diagnosis of chronic depression and prescription for Prozac are unnecessary crutches.

Bullshit. Some people are just broken, and that's just the way it is. Not to imply that being broken means lesser value; my mother is one of the best mothers on Planet Earth, and that's not just me talking. Most of my friends who've met Mom and Dad say they wish their parents were more like mine. So, if you want to call one of the tools that helps her live a good life a "crutch", then God Bless the doctors who designed crutches.

Seriously. The next time you see someone with a broken leg, contemplate yanking the literal crutches out from under his arms. What would his reaction be? What would others' reaction be? Outrage. Justifiable outrage. He needs that support.

Oh, I hear the "but" coming. You want to use the analogy that people use crutches to support themselves while they heal, so they don't need the crutch anymore? Nuh-uh. Remember those folks with chronic or genetic physical disorders who wear those elbow crutches all their lives? Or older people whose joints have gone arthritic that always walk with a cane? It's like that.

Not everyone has equal capabilities in all areas, nor should they be forced like square pegs into round holes. If they have a problem severe enough to be a detriment in all areas of their lives, and "trying harder" doesn't work, then by God let them get the support they need to function. In the proper environment, they might not need that support ... but finding any variety of "proper environment" in America these days is damned hard to do.

Speaking of square pegs into round holes ... I have zero patience for writers that claim labelling a child as "gifted" will boost their ego and make non-gifted children feel bad about themselves. Or folks who claim that "giftedness" is solely an artifact of over-enthusiastic parents who teach kids to read before they hit kindergarten and that it isn't really an inborn trait; according to such people, labelling a child "gifted" makes them feel special when they really have no right to.

First of all, which would you rather see, a happy, confident child or a depressed, frustrated one? From personal experience, I can tell you that that is exactly the choice you're making with a gifted child. Either you allow them to be all they can be, which includes identifying their giftedness and then dealing with what that means, or you force them to be always, always different, stifled, and bored. My parents did try, but they believed the authorities who said grade-skipping me again would hurt me socially. I was already hurt socially, damnit, and I would have been much more confident and happy could I have directed my own education and had intellectual peers to socialize with in my early years.

Don't get me wrong; I wouldn't actually change my life if I had the option, since that would erase a lot of valuable experience and cause important friendships to disappear; I just wish I'd had the chance. Doctors compare gifted children who aren't allowed to run at their own pace to racehorses kept in tiny pens. After several years, they are forever unable to reach their potential; they weren't exercised enough, didn't progress properly, and ended up stunted. I resent the implication that it's too late for me, but I do recognize the truth of it.

Secondly, I don't give a damn if labelling one child "gifted" makes others feel inadequate. You want to chain one child up so that others never realize they are "only" average? You think these children don't know anyway who's smarter? Give them credit. Kids are far more perceptive than most adults think they are. What is it about maturation that erases the memory of what you felt like at their age? I hope I never get "mature" in that sense.

The truth is, some kids are of average intelligence and some aren't. You wouldn't force a child with a below-normal IQ to try to keep pace with an average classroom; that would be cruel. You'd be forcing that child to go too fast. If it isn't right for them, it isn't; and that's why districts spend so much money on special education programs. (Not to say that such programs aren't flawed; they are. Some kids get forced into them when they shouldn't be because of improperly treated LD's). Few people, however, make the logical leap to realize that forcing an above-normal child to go too slow is just as cruel.

You help no one by trying to obscure that truth, least of all the children.

And as for that third objection, that kids aren't really "gifted", they just have enthusiastic parents? Oh come on. There are methods of measuring I.Q. Get the child tested. If they score high, hello! There are children whose parents are just as enthusiastic who still don't learn how to read before kindergarten. Intelligence is at least 50% genetic, researchers know that much; environment can have some effect, but please, don't punish the child for that.

Telling a kid they are special is never harmful unless you also teach them to feel they are better than other people because of it.

*deep breath* Okay, I've run out of steam. If you want references, I can backtrack through my Google log and find the articles that helped me synthesize this rant; frankly, however, I never want to see half of them again.