2002-04-25 - 10:50 p.m.
"I'm a million different people from one day to the next" ...

The Verve's "Bittersweet Symphony" was playing on the radio when I drove out for lunch today. I haven't been able to get rid of it since. *wry smile* Yesterday it was Garbage's "#1 Crush". Go fig.

I've felt wrung out all day. You know that feeling you get, when you've been crying for hours? All hollow and echoing inside? Well, I hadn't been crying (unless something really wierd was going on in my dreams last night) but that's how I felt all day. Less than four hours of sleep, combined with hormones, depression, and the onset of seasonal allergies, pretty much knocked me out. I walked around like a zombie.

Remaining zombielike after downing two cups of industrial strength coffee, one Dr. Pepper, one Ruby Red Squirt, one Frappucino, and two cups of tea is pretty impressive, if I do say so myself. Where does all the caffiene and sugar go on my down days? I'd pay good money to see the scientific explanation of that one.

I did, however, survive the day. And now it's weekend for me! Hooray! And I started getting the Statesman Journal newspaper this morning ... potential local jobhunting tool. And there was a new C.S.I. And Hildegaard is in transit even as we speak. And I'm even feeling awake now! Astonishing. =)

I also got a message from a college friend today that I haven't spoken to in months ... Popsi. Well, to be accurate, I got the call 10 days ago, but because of the fucked up reception in this duplex I wasn't able to dial voicemail until today. I've discovered that if I stand next to the front door or in a certain area of my bedroom the static goes away and it'll actually ring instead of giving me the stupid out-of-order signal.

Popsi's an interesting person. We had an enormous row in my last year at university over a collection of photographs. I nearly cut off all communication with her over that one. And the funny part is that both of us knew it wasn't really about the photos, it was about a certain mutual friend whose time we were both jealous of. I was friends with him before she ever met him, and I was in fact a large part of the reason she and Nellanor got to be good friends with him in the first place, but she seemed to take a certain glee in reporting every moment she spent with him that I wasn't present for.

Stupid. Neither of us had a chance in hell of dating him, and we both knew that; moreover, I had accepted that fact and settled into enjoying his friendship. So why did she take such joy in one-upping me? All it did was hurt my feelings. I had no hopes to be crushed, and she had no chances to be bettered. I never understood that.

Anyway. That was two years ago now. There have been ups and downs before and since, and I long since threw away the scoreboard. She's just one of those people that you either have to accept without much question (in which case she's pretty cool) or else get the hell away from. (I seem to have several friends like that). I sincerely regretted the fact that she never called and seldom spoke to me after I graduated, never mind that I worked on the same campus she attended.

... However, it never upset me urgently enough to actually look up her number in the Bruin myself. What does that say about me?

Her phone was busy when I rang her back, so I left a message. We'll see what happens. I think I might have fun getting to know her again, now that there's this big gap between us and emotional history.

In the meantime, I'm going to try to occupy myself until Hildegaard arrives. This weekend is going to be such a blast. *grin* I'm sure I'll have much to report of a more entertaining nature soon.