2002-05-08 - 9:57 a.m.
I'm back from the Conference. Did I learn anything? Well, sort of ...

I think it's hilarious how Americans are so gung-ho about not letting people tell them what to do, but when things go wrong, they instantly point fingers up the ladder. "Oh, I know I made it hard for you to get any changes made, but it's your fault that the system failed anyway!" *rolling eyes* I was just reading in the newspaper about the situation with the little Florida girl who was missing for over a year; suddenly, the Democrats are making it all about Jeb Bush and his 1998 campaign promise to work on child welfare.

This is exactly why I'd never go into politics. Suddenly you're the scapegoat for everything that goes wrong in the area under your jurisdiction. I'm not the type, anyway. I was at that "Conference for Assistants" all day yesterday, and during all the be-pleasantly-noticeable image lectures and the gently-toot-your-own-horn pep-talks, all I could think was, "This is so not me."

It was even more obvious when she started telling us to imagine ourselves in an extremely stressful, embarrasing situation, and display the way our body language would change with those feelings as compared to normal. Everyone else in the room said they'd get hunched, meek, trembly, weak-voiced, and stare at the floor. Me? Spine straight, defenses at the ready. I might be a little unsure of myself, my hands might be trembling a little, and I might not be able to keep my gaze locked with the person I'm facing, but that's normal for me in fight-or-flight; I'm otherwise prepped for war.

Well, I guess it all makes sense. I'm the sort of person who wants to be noticed for her competencies, not because she ran a PR campaign for herself. (I'd much rather be underestimated than overestimated). And I guess I've been hardwired by life-long experience to react to stress and embarassment imposed by others as if it were a battleground instead of an inconvenience. It too often has been, in the past.

I used to get voluminous compliments from my teachers on my speaking skills because of these reactions; I'd keep those shaking hands busy with cards or podium, look out over the class' heads, and send all that adrenaline-fueled energy into my voice. Sheer terror on my part; 99.9% A+ speaking from the teachers' point of view.

Well, other than pointing out to me once again that I'm the lone Keeshond in a collection of poodles, the seminar was pretty useful, I have to admit. I picked up some organizational things I can do, and some PC techniques to smooth pleasant interactions with the rest of the company. I wish they weren't necessary, since I certainly wasn't raised with them and they don't come naturally, but oh well. I had to learn sometime, I guess.

They also had us do this visualization thing. First, think about what your goals in life are. Imagine that, somewhere down the road, those goals are met. Imagine you can be doing anything you want without worry for finances or failure. Now, describe the perfect day in the life of you, complete with work activity, major hobby, interactions with persons important to you, house, car, etc., etc.

Reminds me of all those old M.A.S.H. games that girls sit around and play in their growing-up years. (Did anyone else ever turn it into S.H.A.M.P.O.O. for extra residences choices? No? Just me? *grin*). Mine ... ahhh. Ten years from now. Living in one of those custom-built family-sized castles on a green hillside somewhere, complete with family. Driving a new black Thunderbird.. Working part-time in a museum, doing any related work -- linguistics, historical research, whatever. Writing novels.

I won't go into any further details, but the whole exercise was "Mmmm, yeah." They were teaching us about realizing goals? Good by me. I just don't think it'll take me in a direction they intended! *picks up the Classifieds again*