2002-06-08 - 9:46 p.m.
Weekend lounging; same-old, same-old.

*snickering* Azash is viewing his way through Season 5 of the X-files still, and one of today's choices was "Bad Blood". I always laugh myself silly over this episode. Not just the vampire thing, it's the whole production. The Scully/Mulder misunderstandings, the appearance of Luke Wilson as a sherriff, the gratuitous autopsies, "I was drugged", the whole humorous treatment of it.

Scully: "Stomach contents include pizza. With pepperoni, green pepper, mushrooms ... mushrooms ... That sounds really good ..."

Ah, there's nothing like a good laugh. But it really makes me lament, not for the first time, the fact that I didn't start watching X-Files live until the decay had already begun and great MOTWs were few and far between. There's a lot of great stuff in the early/mid seasons, and there's all that sparkle and potential between Mulder and Scully.

I asked a few people for preliminary checkovers on the early parts of my current fic, and I've had exactly zero responses. It's giving me fits of NOTICE-ME panic again. Where on earth do I get that from? I ranted about it once a week or two ago, and it still bothers me. Even negative feedback would have cheered me up. Instead I feel like I'm screaming at the top of my lungs from the bottom of a well in the middle of nowhere. Metaphorically, anyway.

I'm so messed up. But maybe it's a good thing. I re-re-read the damned story myself a few times, all 13,000 words of it; then I decided that chapter 7 was a pretty lackluster effort, and ripped it down for a replot. And now I'm surfing around for writing boards to get a proper beta-reader from, since the casual asking thing doesn't seem to work. We'll see how that goes.

I still haven't gone to a doc about the AD/HD thing. I'm now about 90% certain that I have it, and 60% that my brother does, based on daily evidential buildup. It really, really gets to me some days. Whenever I make the least lapse or mistake, which of course often happens, my brother's all over me about it, derisive and accusatory. Whenever I notice anything he does, however, it's all "you do it too" and "everyone does it" and complete failure to take responsibility. I can never, ever, ever win.

*sigh* Living with Azash isn't good for me. It has lots of perks -- DVD player, cable internet, etcetera -- but he sees absolutely no reason to treat me with anything approaching respect or consideration most of the time. I'm just a warm body who pays half the rent and sometimes laughs at the same things he does. The fact that we're sibs doesn't seem to enter into it. Please, someone tell me all guys aren't like that.

Well, on the upside. I got a free seven-year-old Zip drive from work to test. Might be a good back-up system for my writings, in case I ever have a nasty hard drive crash again. I rediscovered some of my favorite poems while doing a bit of writing research. And I lost another taboo. Not telling which, due to embarassment, but damned if it isn't fun.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to watch some 80's movies that my brother bought in a fit of nostalgia. Anyone else remember "Mannequin" fondly? Hee. Of course, today's critics would be all over it with cries of "misogyny" and "sexual harassment" and what have you, but I thought it was fun.