2003-04-02 - 11:02 a.m.
The One With The Bastardized Matrix Quote

You know, I'm getting really good at hoping for the best and expecting the worst at the same time. The latest debacle involves a lonely twentysomething called Shell, a P2P ad posted two plus years ago, and a respondent who seemed to fit 9 out of 10 items on her - my - "wish list".

For two solid weeks, he emailed me every single work day. Mostly getting-to-know you questions, things he likes, things he doesn't, picture, where he's originally from, etc. Republican, Christian, tall, above-average looks, computer networking degree and a language degree, great sense of humor, self-described "geek" and fan of things sci-fi and historical ... That's a small sample of the things that caught my attention. I know it's easy to fake stuff up over email, but he was sending from a .mil address, which (I'd hope, anyway) should be hard to impersonate, which in turn makes me more inclined to believe him. He's a Lance Corporal in the Marines, been in 4 years, getting out this summer, and *not* involved in the war.

So on Friday morning he said he'd like to drive out my way and see a movie with me some weekend. Friday afternoon I wrote back to say basically that it's a little soon, my family/friends would lynch me, but since my April weekends are all booked up, that's not an issue anyway. So perhaps May?

I haven't heard a word since.

Normally, not a prob, as there's lag in most of my correspondence. Days, weeks sometimes. But with this guy? Mr. I'll Write You Back Within 2 Hours If It's During Work Time? That's 19 hours and counting of being at a computer without replying. Unless his unit *was* suddenly called up (and I haven't heard of anything from the state he said his base is in) that's a definite snub.

*sigh* Well, moving on ...

I'm investigating the possibility of moving this diary over to LiveJournal, as it appears to support the small-update function easier, and I like the format. I have less time these days for exhaustive renditions of my day, and when I do think of something to post, it's usually short and I pass it over as not worth the effort of typing out a D.Land entry. The thing is, of course, that LJ only does free sign-ups if you've got an entry code from a friend who already has it, and apparently each person's free-code-for-friend can only be used once. So now I have to decide if the $36/year is worth paying.

My telecourse from the local community college starts tonight: "Introduction to Cultural Anthropology". The registration fee was around $140, and the books $80 or so; much cheaper than the equivalent amount of credits at my former university, or even at the state U's. Maybe I can pick up a couple more foundational courses on the cheap before I go back for a master's, and reduce my future loan debt by a couple hundred? *laughing* Not that it'll matter much in the long run.

Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake
Luck ain't even lucky
Got to make your own breaks

It's my life
And it's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive

I think those are Bon Jovi lyrics, "It's My Life" -- they just popped into my head. A bit of popular, what-do-you-call-it, rage against the machine? But valid. Spine-stiffening, when my mother gives me that slightly disappointed "Of course we'll support you, but ... why? ..." expression. I expect to get it again, later in the month; one of those all-booked-up weekends is for Hildegaard's birthday trip. She's declared her intentions to finally get that tattoo she's been waffling over for the last six or seven years, and I promised forever ago that when she was ready to do so, I'd get one too.

I even have it all picked out. Have, since she first mentioned her idea, as a matter of fact; and I've already gone through all the for-and-against arguments. I think six years is enough time to be sure of a decision, don't you? *grin* Not that Mom will see it that way.

So you're wondering what I'm going to get? OK, I'll spell it out, although it should be obvious: a shell. Yep. I am being that symbolic about it. A scallop shell, to be precise, in its traditional heraldic formation, not the "gules, a scallop inverted or" that you see on the gas station signs. And I don't want it filled in - I just want the lines. Simple. Significant. Mine.

I'm a little bit of everything
all rolled into one

Another song fragment, I know. Meredith Brooks, this time. Sometimes I wonder if there is really a niche for me anywhere, since the "jack of all trades, master of none" isn't really a useful profession most places, these days. Well, I suppose I'll find out ... that's the adventure, after all. What comes next?

The correct answer to the question, "Is the glass half full, or half empty?" is, "There is no glass. It is not the glass that is filled, only yourself."

Hee.